Always forgive the offenses

11/20/2016 - 21:05

Some people are used to being offended. "I do not like", "I do not understand," - says the usual confident person in any conflict situation and goes into a state of resentment, as a child in the crib. It's warm, and nothing to do. Just lie there and feel sorry for them. There rattle resentment. And about food does not need to worry - you miserable, regret and always will feed on a bottle with a bottle. No evidence of non-adult and cowardice. But the non-adult person cannot be a husband or wife. It is still too early. And if you are already married, this habit is necessary to put an end once and for all. You're not unhappy. You're the same as everyone. And like everyone else, often go wrong. Therefore it is necessary to spare others and to forgive them for what they, too, are wrong. And even more so - to forgive his most loved one. Of course, between happiness and love rotten pleasure of self-pity, we choose the former. "Love keeps no evil!" If it is difficult to forgive - mentally say: "I forgive you," and if you can pray for the person. There are situations when it is not clear, but whether it is necessary to forgive.

First of all, violence and betrayal

And yet, some of those things could and should be forgiven. Many newlyweds are pre-programmed on your unforgiveness in such cases: "Let him raise his hand to me once – he is dead!", "If he ever changes – then disperse." but life is a difficult thing, and not very smooth. Do not expect that all of it will be held without rough edges, that everything will be perfect. The situation may be different. And to you in any situation could take a flexible, adequate solution, it is better to avoid harsh presets. They are driving us into a dead end. If there was a case of treason or violence, two things are important. First, what is wrong in our life together, and in the behavior of each of us, it could happen again? We carry out work on the bugs. Secondly, if he feels, who made a mistake, regret and desire to reform? If repentance is, we try to find a love, to forgive the person. Think about that and you could get into a situation fraught with a betrayal of her husband. And can you be sure that would be able to stand? And where should we have another person - one that is guaranteed by the fall? If we love a person, let's give him a chance. Another thing, if people do not use this chance. Allow systematic abuse or a life in the "family for three" - it would not be evidence of our ability to love and to forgive, but rather a sign of our dependence, some of our psychological pathology. Fortunately, we can defeat these diseases, restoring his high dignity as the image of God.

Put you in the place of another

A great part of the problems between spouses arises from the fact that everyone is looking at the situation from their point of view, not wanting to look at the business through the eyes of another. The evangelical commandment: "As you wish, do to you people, and you would have them do" - is one of the most precious advice given to mankind in its entire history. One priest told me about an interesting phenomenon. Comes to him a woman, he tells his family situation, complains of her husband. The priest is filled with self-pity and resentment wife to her husband. At his request, the husband comes and tells his vision problems. Priest look changed almost the opposite: her husband is not a monster, and the wrongness of his wife revealed as well as in almost every situation. Over time, the priest, of course, has learned about not to draw conclusions until you hear both sides. What does it mean? This means that each spouse "own truth". You can bring to the chronic conflict, and then combine these two "truth" through a third party is a psychologist or a priest. Master thus one of the two half-truths the real truth.